Monday, September 12, 2011

Sometimes.... time to think is not a good thing.

Today as I was waiting at the pharmacy counter waiting to speak to the pharmacist regarding the issue of a partial refill that they said they couldn't complete because it was not in the computer, I began to think.  Staring at the unbelievable amount of medication behind that counter is what started it.  I began to think of  all of the necessities that go along with caring for a diabetic child.  Trust me.... I know it could be worse than Nick being diabetic and I am thankful that it is not.  But I started thinking about the fact that for the next 20 years (give or take a few), I would have to make sure that we have insulin in the house, lancets, strips, pods for his pump, syringes.  All of this medical equipment that is needed to keep Nicholas alive.  It sort of reads like a grocery list. And the funy thing is that I cannot remember the time before Nick was diagnosed.  I can't remember ever just worrying if we ran out of bread, milk and eggs.  Now we have these extra items on there that we can't survive without.  The bread, milk and eggs have sort of been pushed to the back burner.  Those other items are far more important. 
And then I began to think about all of our family members, friends, co-workers that don't have a diabetic child or special needs child and I am a little jealous. I normally don't get jealous because I just am not that type of person.  I am genuinely happy for people when good things happen to them and I would never wish for any child to get sick or for any parent to watch a child suffer.  But they don't know what it's like to have to make sure you have his blood glucose checker (or just checker as we like to call it), juice boxes, and snacks every single time we leave the house, to make sure you have his medical supplies, to have to check him all of the time at parties or get togethers to see if he can have what the other kids are eating, or to have to check him throughout the day regardless, and to have to be constantly worried that they might go too low.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids, diabetes and all, but I thought for just a moment what it would be like to be in someone else's shoes.  And then I thought "NO WAY".  Somebody else's life might be way more messed up than mine.  And as you can obviously see, I had to wait far too long for the pharmacist.

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